Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
