Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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