I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
