If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
