I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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