so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
