Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
