I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
