This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
