So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
