it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
