I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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