You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
