So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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