Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
