She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
