I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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