The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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