some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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