Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
