i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
