Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize