windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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