i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize