Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
