If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
