he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
