I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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