you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
