Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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