In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
