In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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