Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
