I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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