I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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