I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
