I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
