He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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