Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think im going to throw up on grandma
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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