Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize