shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
