nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
