How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
