Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
