I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
