If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You're like the curious george of whores
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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