I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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