You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
