dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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