Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
