Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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