Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize