I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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