i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
we made out on top of his cat.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
