so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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