I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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