Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
