ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
