Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize