Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
