dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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