He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
