Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
