wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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