i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize