Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
