there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
