...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
