...so i touched it.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
