boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
