i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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