i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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