you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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