these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
