You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Someone shattered a urinal.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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