How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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