in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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