Banned from zoo.
Again?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
